galactic orbiting robot force

Just give us your name

your age and something

really funny about you


My name is Irving Berlin

I'm 118 years young

and I'm part Arabian


racing horse and I like

Count Chocula and I'm

angry about the way politics


grinds its utter Wendy

right into dead stars

as though no one cared


about anything other than

their next nonsequential

narrative compromise


Hi my name is Caine Mutiny

and I'm not an age

but my funny thing is


that no one can find me

inside my own certificate

also I like tricking


mules into boring holes

in miniature walls

with microscopic drills



I googled the word google and my computer began to smoke.


I googled the phrase "google the word google" in quotes,

and I died, and when I died there was

no email, no MP3s, no website, well


there was one website, it was called heaven, it

had no pop ups or even banner ads.



It must have said on a large sign,

"home of the automatic girlfriend"--


and that's how we got through customs.


I had grown to hate my own mind,

which is why we left. If you can

imagine booze, stilts, one of those polka

dotted pantsuits; this is what


it had come down to, and for what?


Gaius had rebuked me sternly, then

rebiked the trail we had just come down

as if to illustrate what had become

of what, and when.


And that's when I fell in with Ben.


Aaron Belz
lives in St. Louis where he teaches English, publishes Observable Books, and curates a reading series by the same name. His newest publications are in Court Green, No Tell Motel, Drunken Boat, and Black Clock.

[step back to issue 4]