deep breaths shallow,
ankles stretched, entwined
ribs padded with throbs,
bells and trance
it never ended and then
the spell distant,
the doorways, hall-
ways, the fleeting pitter
up a long flight of stairs
there to behold
is it sorcery or charm?
invoke a comely name for it
recall your palms
flattening my thrum,
my thrum, my good judgment groped,
for a few minutes, I tricked myself
placed faith in the talent of fingers
speculated past lives wanted relived
it ended and it never began
blurry as truth, I
averted more than eyes
no future tryst scheduled, our ankles
never to entwine again, and this was your
aspiration, you always understood and it
occurred and it didnít occur to you
just how unjaded I was clasping hands
here I am, conjuring more liability
here I am, spare one moment more, spy my
tripping, a paper trail of failed chants and exhibits
a few scratched lines I pray will suffice
Neither courage nor fear smite
tears for they have no way to reach here.
Growing up meant
boarding up, moving, no forwarding address,
no longer bunking with lies of chipper guise.
Growing up, the formal introduction to joy,
Complicated and controlled
my own state-of-the art pleasure dome, a
high-secure facility I rule as Caesar.
What I'm admitting to is kidnapping
possibly slavery, she cannot
leave, take visitors, she's mine alone.
Muzzled and panting, joy heads my chariot,
Drags me round and round the pit-filled track.
It's just us two girls.
I laugh.† Often.
This is my will.
This is my given.
Donít call me feminine and excessive and screw you, I know that temple, I took her picture and
it's she who doesn't remember me, the only one who knew to bring a red fritter to the reception.†
She thinks she's cute and I'm impressed with her sanctity and her little pews too.